A critical first step in the cooling-down process. Clinical trials show a 0% success rate without this step.

Your face registered critically elevated thermal readings. Please cool down before re-attempting biometric entry.

Hiccups are a clinically documented horniness amplifier. You must be hiccup-free before re-entry.

1. Hold your breath for a slow count of 10.
2. Drink a full glass of water upside down.
3. Pull both knees firmly to your chest and hold for 30 seconds.
4. Swallow a level teaspoon of granulated sugar without water.
5. Ask someone nearby to scare you. Not too hard.
6. Breathe slowly into a paper bag (5–6 cycles).
7. Think about something deeply unsexy. Take your time.